The Ultimate Gift Guide for Lovers
/xoxo
Whether you’re in a serious relationship or your new boy from Hinge has his 36th birthday coming up this weekend, choosing a gift for your significant other is no walk in the park. As if there weren’t enough emotions involved, here comes the pressure of nailing a gift for the person you just might care about the most in this world. I’m here to say it is totally normal for it to feel like a stressful experience when in the back of your head you’re thinking you should have this unrealistic, filtered shopping experience of pure glee. It’s ok if it doesn’t start that way, but how about let’s make it end that way?
As far as the stress, according to Shawn M. Burn Ph.D., gift-giving anxiety is something where worrying obsessively over choosing the right gift occurs rather than accepting that we only have so much control over how other people respond to and experience our gift. If you are experiencing gift-giving anxiety, find comfort in the fact that you are giving out of good intentions to someone you love. This should be a delightful, if not fun experience for you so we’ve compiled various ways to choose a gift for your significant other. Remember the big picture, all the anxiety that may come with gift giving doesn’t change the fact that you truly want to get them something special so they know how much you care about them. You’re already winning, sis.
Snoop Gift Guides
If you don’t know where to start, consider checking out gift guides. There’s a gift guide for everyone and so many out there that it’s best to be as specific as possible when searching for a guide all about your guy. Gift guides can be a great way to snag ideas or even find the perfect gift. For example, Instyle compiled The Best Holiday Gifts for the Wellness Buff in Your Life and 15 Fancy Valentine’s Day Gifts Every Fashionista Will Love. Remember, gift guides can be as generic or specific to your man or gf depending on your search so whether your dude is into gaming or your significant other loves coffee table books, there is a gift guide out there for them. You just have to find it.
Love Language
Looking for the perfect gift to show your girlfriend she’s “the one?” Consider her love language. Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate outlines five ways that you and your significant other experience romance and love. The five love languages are acts of service, gift-giving, physical touch, quality time, and words of affirmation. If you’ve got the time, I recommend snuggling up this weekend with this book and grasping onto Chapman’s bits of love wisdom. You’ll learn a lot not only about your significant other’s love language but your own needs and love language which is just as important.
No idea what your love language is let alone your boyfriend’s love language and no time to read the book? Take this quiz to discover your love language and ultimately the greatest gift. Now that you know your love language, get creative in giving a thoughtful gift. If your girlfriend’s love language is quality time, scoop her up on your white horse and carry her off to Breckenridge for a weekend of snowboarding or a little less expensive, downtown to your favorite local restaurant and follow up with ice skating. Figuring out his or her love language can be your key to gifting the perfect gift. If their love language is gift-giving, peek the sections “Inexpensive but Still Dope” and “Expensive Gifting.” Say your boo’s love language is acts of service. Take notice of what you could do to make their lives less stressful then gift it. If it’s car insurance that has your girl pulling her hair out, offer to pay it for a couple of months. Is he trying to shake his dad bod? Gift him an Apple Watch that will be a handy gadget on his journey.
If their love language is words of affirmation, check out “Personalized Items” and “Get Creative” sections. Their love language is physical touch? Treat your significant other to an at-home spa day and pull out all the works.
No matter the love language, there is a gift to match their vibration. Quiet down to pick up on non-verbal cues, your partner’s feelings, and clarity for your own. Then just go for it and ask them to take the love language quiz with you. You can unveil after you give the gift that this was your strategy or we can keep it between us.
Inexpensive but Still Dope
By no means do you have to break the bank to get a romantic gift for your significant other. Sometimes the most thoughtful, sweetest gifts to give and receive are the ones where we have to get creative in giving because it involves a memento or memorable experience. Instead of designer, think memorable experience. We want her belly laughing, ugly crying, or speechless by the end of this gift-giving experience.
So if you have a gift spending limit, check out the “Intimacy Deck” by Best Self Co. which is 150 cards with awesome prompts to get the conversation going and remind you why you’re so in love in the first place. Another great activity for bae’s gift day is a couple journal that lasts for three years and is full of quick Q&As so you can log all the memories you have with each other. Also, consider getting a bucket booklist so you can create a bucket booklist together revolving around your relationship. To spice up date night, snag this 100 Dates Bucket List Scratch Poster from Amazon. And, guys, flowers and plants never go out of style and guarantee a smile.
Charitable Giving
If you’re looking to come together as a couple, consider giving to a charity. A study finds that when it comes to charitable giving, most couples find common ground. Why is that? Elaine Martyn, vice president of Fidelity Charitable’s Private Donor Group says “With household finances, it often feels like you make the money, you save it and you spend it—those are the only three actions. But with giving, there’s a whole dialogue around why you’re doing what you’re doing and how you got there. There is an opportunity to talk about your values and what you believe and what you share.”
If you’ve been with your hubs for a long time, you may be in a spot where you’re thinking you aren’t agreeing on anything why add another to the list. The point of charitable giving is that it actually will be a gift to you and your spouse of reconciliation, a re-lit flame, or surrendering again to each other. You might just have to try it to believe it.
Think of all the many causes you potentially could give to as a gift for bae: the environment, pet shelters, underprivileged children, and more. Maybe you both are passionate about mental health services. You could make a donation in your significant other’s name and it would be an amazing feeling to give the gift that keeps on giving.
There are all sorts of brands out there that donate a portion of the proceeds of an item to a charity as well. Take thisKennebunk Bliss Plush Throw from Nordstrom. Their portion of the proceeds is donated to Operation Warm, an organization that provides winter coats to those in need. Or what about this cute ban.do necklace that supports Girls Inc., a nonprofit encouraging young girls to be just as ambitious, bold, and inspiring as she is? The list goes on and on. And so does the giving.
Personalized Items
This is the opportunity to get personal and make some special memories. Personalized gifts are a great way to take your gift giving to the next level. So if your relationship could use going to the next level, check out awesome gifts that let you choose one word about your lovely significant other and then write out a short note on why you chose that word. She won’t take that bracelet off.
Check out this designer, engravable Yves Saint Laurent Rouge Volupte Shine Lipstick Balm. She will fawn. Take a risk and create your own fragrance with your own scent kit, messaging and branding at WAFT. Set the mood with Uncommon Good’s Long-distance Friendship Lamp across town or across the world with these in-sync lamps which sounds amazing. Custom Pet Portrait? Raises hand. In love with an adventurer? Slide bae a custom Herschel Little America Backpack. The list truly does go on and on, just like that newfound love so make this gift a personal one.
Expensive Gifting
Let’s go all out, have some fun, shall we? Go for it without looking like you’re trying too hard with a sleek, timeless classic item for your guy. Believe me, he will be living in these GUCCI Men's Interlocking G Rubber Slide Sandals. The next one is for when you’ve waited too long to say “I love you,” have some making up to do and need to say those words with every ounce of meaning in them. Say hello to the Louis Vuitton Neverfull GM. Go with the iconic, original Louis Vuitton Monogram pattern. I’m linking it so you know what it looks like and well aware that it is sold out online. Put in work and go to the store. Not near one? Drive baby, drive. I’m telling you from experience, it is so worth it. Also, those two little letters are very important and very expensive but don’t skimp! GM means the largest Louis Vuitton Neverfull and babe needs the biggest.
I’m giving away a real present now and you’ve read this far so my gift is coming happily to you. In the certain spheres, you usually don’t give away what perfume or cologne you wear unless you’re kind. It’s like giving away your true secret to success, extra confidential for some. I thought I was wearing one of the best perfumes until a dear friend of mine who is high up in the luxury fragrance world did what few do. He told me the very best cologne for men and very best perfume for women. Here goes! Also, get ready to drop some cheddar. For the women, Creed Aventus For Her by far takes the cake. It is absolutely irresistible. It’s a fresh/floral fragrance but words can’t capture the smell because it truly is just experience. Creed ends the description with the line, “To be near her is to feel the presence of greatness.” Hashtag chills. For the men, Tom Ford Santal Blush dominates at the top. This attractive, mesmerizing scent is a textured fusion of creamy sandalwood and exotic eastern spices enhanced with intoxicating florals and sumptuous woods to create the perfect modern earthiness. Packaging is its nude juice and blush color just “as sensual as a beautifully contoured nude face.” I gave them to you hot, do it what you want but if you trust me, you’ll know real quick why these are the industry’s top, best-kept secrets.
Creative Gifts
If you’ve been together for years and feel like you’re gifted out, it may be time to get creative. I’m saying really thinking outside-of-the-box. How about you set your hot date up with a couples photoshoot? I’m not talking boudoir, even though if that’s y’all’s jam, no judgement. I’m talking hire an awesome, local professional photographer, go shopping and pay for bae, get her makeup and hair done and choose a gorgeous location. It’s so much fun, and you come out with amazing photos for the gram, for like a year, laughing face, hashtag no shame.
Instead of cooking for her, hire a professional chef to come to your place, set the mood and fine-dine like people ought to. Even if you aren’t a good writer, one of the sweetest, most endearing gifts people get is truly thoughtful love letters and love notes. It puts Fendi to shame. Actually take that back, nothing puts Fendi to shame, but you get where I was going with that. Plan a short day-trip to somewhere and immerse yourselves in the culture for a weekend. It’s a fun ride. If you sing or play guitar, you could write that song you owe him or you could hire a local musician to collaborate with on writing a song for him together. That’s the true chart topper. Splurge on a bottle of wine and tell her y’all are watching Netflix only to turn on the television and have your recorded video message about how grateful you are for her and why you love her start playing. Cue the waterworks.
Heartfelt Gifts
I hope you’ve snagged either an idea or excitement for gifting your special occasion for your significant other. One of the most important things is to remember it really is all about the love that you share and to use this gift as a way to express that love.
The great, Brené Brown said, “I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued: when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”
Do you want a relationship where you are cherished and can give and receive without judgement? One where you derive sustenance and strength from the relationship? This is a whole other topic for a whole other day but the point is, that relationships are hard work. This special occasion should be a joyous celebration for you two so don’t put too much pressure on yourself to find the perfect gift rather focus your attention on creating that energy between you two where they feel seen, heard and valued. Gift to that.
With the big picture in mind, a litany of ideas and inspo for choosing a gift for your significant other, and a confidence in your connection, you are sure to succeed this special occasion. If your intentions are pure and you wish the best for your future hubs, then take a cue from me and be bold in the way you give and that is to give with your whole heart. Because really if you’re going to do it, go all the way. Step into yourself, listen to what is speaking to you or jumped out at you from this article and be fearless in your love, in your decisions, and in your gift-giving to your significant other. You got this.